Staying Positive in a Negative World

Staying Positive in a Negative World

Politics! War! Climate change! Recession! COVID! There are many reasons for us to get caught up in the doomsaying, worrying about things that we can’t control. We get caught up in the news, most of which is unfortunately polarizing by design.  We also frequently tune in to social media to scope out our hobbies and see what people are up to, only to wind up frustrated with the opinions and posts we see. It feels like everything is designed to get us worked up.  Anger makes a lot of money, and staying positive doesn’t – who knew?

Social media is primarily designed to show a person’s best – it’s the nature of the platform. Who wants to put anything up that shows how tired they are from late nights working? Or how upset they are from the argument with their spouse the day before? The fact that the majority of people’s content on social media is positive can make it feel like something is wrong with us when we aren’t happy too.

Always Chasing The Next Best Thing

I’ve got a question for you. How often do you stop and think about the good you have in life?  And I don’t mean a passing thought, I mean really being intentional about evaluating how good you have it.

Focusing on the positive is a huge area of opportunity for people today. We’re so focused on chasing the next best thing that we forget to appreciate what we have right now. Unfortunately, this is working as intended. Marketing encourages us to feel like what we do have isn’t good enough when compared to what we could have.

Take your phone, for example. So many people upgrade their phone every 2-3 years, but ask yourself – is it really a NEED? Does that shiny new phone handle your text messages, phone calls, social media apps, and internet browsing THAT much better than the one you have today? What about the iPad you have that’s 3 years old, and OH GOD the gigantic bezels are just TERRIBLE! Or the TV you have that works just fine, but without the additional 5″ of screen real estate you JUST CAN’T get immersed?

The Challenge

While consistently appreciating what you have today can be a challenge, the real question to consider is this: if you didn’t see the ads and YouTube videos, would it even cross your mind that what you have isn’t good enough? What about your family and friends? How often do you tell them that you appreciate them, their friendship, and the value they bring to your life? What about the fact that you have a roof over your head (hopefully), running water, electricity, and food to eat when you need it (again, hopefully!), when 884 million people in the world don’t even have a safe source of water to drink from[mfn]According to the CDC global WASH statistics, per 2017[/mfn]?

See, it’s all about perspective. Living in a place where basic survival isn’t a constant source of stress, it’s easy to forget just how bad it could be. With an abundance mindset that focuses on gratitude for what you do have today, you’ll find that you can be absolutely content with where you are now.

Control What You Can

I’m a pretty big advocate for Stoicism, something you’ve probably heard of. It’s a common misconception that being Stoic means you don’t show emotion, that you’re straight-faced and boring. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Emotion is strongly encouraged in Stoic philosophy – you just aren’t supposed to let it determine your mindset and actions.

To put it simply, the idea behind Stoicism is that you focus your energy on the things you control directly. And what’s the thing we have complete control over?  The way we respond to a given situation. 

Once you’re able to take control of the emotional response, you’ll have a much greater amount of freedom every day. When it comes to the outside influences in our lives, we have the ability to decide what receives our time and attention. If you hear political discussion at the office, you can choose to not engage. If you have a bit of free time, you can choose to read a book instead of hopping on social media to fall into the rabbit hole that is the activity feed.

The beauty of this philosophy is that once you stop letting those outside influences guide you, you’re able to focus entirely on the things you’re passionate about! You can ignore the vitriol of others and focus on yourself.

None of this changes the fact that negative influences are all around us, though. While it takes time and effort to build the routines and rework the way your mind processes everything, I’ve done it. And I’d like to share how next.

How I Refocused Toward Positivity

One of my favorite quotes calls out that “comparison is the thief of joy”, spoken by Theodore Roosevelt. And I think it’s absolutely accurate. Several years ago I learned of the terrifying possibilities that lie in store for me down the road. I was forced to confront my own mortality far sooner than anyone should. In response, I decided to focus on the positive people, things, and opportunities that I have in my life right now.

The Magic of Journaling

I bought a journal and wrote down 3 things I was thankful for. Every single morning. For nearly 2 years. I did my best to make sure there were as few repeats as possible to keep myself challenged and focused on finding new things to appreciate. A big part of this was dedicating at least one of those three entries every day to gratitude toward my wife! Marriage is a challenge, and anyone that says it isn’t is lying or not actually married. I’ll die on that hill.

I’ll admit that I don’t journal as frequently anymore. Journaling so frequently, and for so long, re-wired my mind to focus on positivity and gratitude so well that I find it’s not as necessary anymore. I now regularly tell my wife that I appreciate her, what she does for me and for our family, and that I wouldn’t be the same without her. My friends know that I appreciate their friendship and time, and I make an effort to stop and just “be” more often. Focusing on living in the moment and enjoying it, instead of being distracted by so many things all the time, is now my focus. I’m not perfect at it, but it does help me focus on what’s important. This is still a challenge, though – I have a (terrible?) need to be productive. All. The. Time.

The Majority of News Doesn’t Add Real Value

I’ve also cut out the news, wholesale. There are only two days every four years where I need to be informed enough to make a decision that will contribute to a larger impact. Outside of this, the news just exists to make me uncomfortable and engage in discussion that doesn’t bring me value. I’ve been so much happier just from removing this variable from my life, it’s legitimately shocking.

All in all, the positive shift in my mindset has been life changing. I wake up every day grateful for the people, opportunities, and possessions I do have because they all bring me joy and value. Focusing in this way has made it so that I, in turn, want to provide as much value as possible to the world and leave it a better place.

The Way Forward

It’s time for a TL;DR! If you did make it this far, thanks for reading!

The road to a positive outlook is simple, but you’ll need to be intentional for it to stick. Here’s a list of recommendations:

1. Pick up a journal and write down 3 things you’re thankful for every day.
   1. Set an alarm or reminder to stay on track
   2. Any journal will work, however I recommend The Five Minute Journal if you’re wanting a more guided experience! My kids also use The Three Minute Gratitude Journal for Kids to make sure they stay thankful for all that they have in life as well
2. Stop watching or reading the news!
   • Stay informed on your hobbies and passions, but leave the mainstream news behind
3. Hold yourself accountable.
   • When you make a mistake, own it and improve – then celebrate next time when you find success!
4. Actively focus on the good things you have in your life every day.
   1. Tell someone close to you that you appreciate them. This will make you and them feel great!
5. When things just suck and you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with negativity (this will happen!), don’t beat yourself up.
   1. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember: there’s always something to be thankful for.

Do you have any recommendations for staying positive in a negative world the weren’t mentioned here? Share in the comments below!